your thong is hanging out like whoa
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
