I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
