i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
