the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
