Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't deserve a penis
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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