Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize