Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
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