Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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