Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
