I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Less talking, more tequila
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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