yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
