I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
