hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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