Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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