Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
