I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize