so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
