Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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