one might say we're banned from that church
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
