a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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