I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
