So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
