I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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