i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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