You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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