Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
