You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
