one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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