I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
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it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My ass is underappreciated
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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