I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
