:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
