I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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