we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
