my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize