well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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