barbara walters just said penis...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
