I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
