went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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