JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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