That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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