Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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