If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
