If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
