You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
