and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
