I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
