just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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