I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
