I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
