I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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