You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Randomize
