Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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