Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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