All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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