She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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