I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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