actually, I'm a sock model
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
