Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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