I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
