his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
