I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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