at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
